Friday, July 22, 2005

I haven't commented on the Natalee Holloway for many reasons. For one, I have a teenage daughter close to Natalee's age and it hits a bit close to home. As unfair as it seems I don't worry quite as much about my 18 yr old son. (though he would disagree as you will soon see)

First of all everytime I see Natalee's mom on TV I just want to cry. What anguish she must be going through. She seems very strong and I admire her for that. I am not sure I could maintain my self as she has. I pray every day she will get the closure she needs.

I do not mean the following to be a judgement on her in any way. She is like so many parents who just wish their children to be happy and have fun while they are young. I understand that. Perhaps I am paranoid. But with the world as it is today, I would no more let my 18 yr old go off to a tropical island with a bunch of friends than I would let him drive off a cliff.

For years I have had to say no to numerous trips to Mexico or Florida that my kids have been asked to go on. It is clear that these trips are drunken fun fests for most kids. I was watching the reality show "Laguna Beach" with my daugher. It follows a bunch of Juniors and Seniors through their last years of high school. They go to Cabo San Lucas for Spring Break and the thing that happens at all these things happened, drunkeness and stupidity.

I realize that my children will be able to go off to wherever they wish when they are in college (but not on my dime) but as long as I have the ability to protect them, I will. I also hope they will be a bit more mature when they do finally go on their own.

When did we get to the point where by the age of 18 our kids have gone in limos everywhere, spent hundreds on dances, and traveled to exotic islands?? This isn't rich kids either, these are middle class kids whose parents sacrifice so they can do the things the other kids are doing. What will these kids expect for college graduation or for a wedding???? This year I made my daughter pay for the hairdos, the nails, and the tanning for all the dances herself. (She worked at afterschool care) Not one of her friends had to do this.

Right now I am dealing with buying my daughter a car. Her friends all have these new sports cars. (Again, not rich kids either) We can afford a new sports car for her, but who in their right mind buys a new expensive car for a 16 yr old that will end up getting it banged up within the year? And what will she ever have to look forward to?

A story about my son. On prom night they have an all night "party' at the high school. It is free and they have all kinds of things set up from poker/gambling (not real money) to games, to lazer tag ect. They lock the doors after the prom and open them at 6 am. No drinking of course. Great idea and most take advantage of it. But the "cool kids" all go to Galveston Island. It is a given. Some idiot parent rents some condos and they all go and get drunk. Well, my son went to the high school overnight thing. He called me Sunday morning around 8:30am saying he was going to sleep for a bit at his friend's house. I called back to his friend's house since my son had called on his cell, to make sure that is where he actually was. He was.

Long story short. They went to Galveston that day. He text messaged me (too scared to call and wouldn't answer either when I called) He said he was fine and that there was a parent at the condos and he would let me know how he was every day. He stayed until Tues. He texted me on Monday saying "hi! I'm safe! Don't worry!" I texted him back and said "you are sooo not safe." From me anyway.

Anyway, when he got back he got his computer taken away for awhile. (a fate worse than death to him) He told me, "you don't seem that mad. You knew I would be careful and not stupid. Why didn't you just let me go?" I told him, "My job is to make the best decisions for you. You will have more than enough opportunities to make mistakes on your own watch."

There is a nice twist here. When he got back I said, "you realize you missed Church on Sunday?" He said, "No I didn't. After I called you Sunday morning and before we left I went to 9:00 mass."

I was truly impressed. This kid had just been to prom, stayed up all night at the after party at the school and still felt he should go to church that morning when I know he must have been worn out.

After that, I wasn't so mad. He got his computer back.