Wednesday, September 15, 2004


"Good evening, I'm Dan Rather. We start off tonight admitting a mistake. Yes, the documents are forgeries. But those pajama clad brownshirts blogging their HATE, did not have anything to do with exposing this uhh...mistake. We already had experts on the job testing the paper, fonts, EVERYTHNG! I swear its true! I, as a responsible journalist simply reported the story as I saw it at the time. In fact if we hadn't had all those computer nazis taking up all the time of the experts we would have had the truth out alot sooner. The real story tonight is that not only is the content of the memos true, a CBS pyschic has gotten in touch with late Jerry Killian and he has confirmed all that we suspected and more. Bush not only went AWOL in 1973, but was discovered 6 months later passed out from a cocaine binge in a Las Vegas motel singing "My baloney has a first name..." And finally, We have discovered that Karl Rove was behind the forgeries. James Carville overheard him at the RNC bragging about it. I hope this restores my credibility, as it should."