Monday, January 28, 2008


Raising a girl is harder than a raising a boy imo. My daughter is in college now and thankfully we are past the difficult teenage years. I thought the tough things were done, but I was wrong.

Nothing is harder than trying to get your daughter through her first heartbreak. I don't think I have ever felt so helpless. It doesn't help that I tell her that every woman on the planet knows what it's like to fall in love and then discover much later what a complete jerk you fell in love with. It doesn't help that I have to hide the fact that I am glad she finally saw him for what he was, that I am so glad it's over.

I think we all learn alot from our first love gone wrong. We learn about the mistakes we make in relationships. We learn that it takes a while for someone's true colors to show. We learn how we don't ever want to be treated again (although many continue to let themselves be treated that way).

I shudder to think if I had married my first love. He was self involved and had ridiculous expectations of me. Similar to what my daughter went through, although the expectations were different. My boyfriend expected perfection in looks and behavior. Her boyfriend expected spiritual perfection that he in no way exemplified himself.

I tell her that time will heal all the pain. I tell her she will meet someone who adores her for who she is, not who he expects her to be. And all of this is true, but it doesn't help today. Today I have to hear her cry. Today I have to listen to the pain in her voice and there is little I can do.

When she was little and fell and hurt herself, I could make things better. But now, I can only stand beside her as she learns to make things better for herself.

Her heart is broken and mine is as well.