Saturday, February 26, 2005

Jackson is white and California could be Red. Heh.

The Therapist is on a roll. Hilarious. Start with this one and keep reading:

"Cartilaginous, Marbly-Skinned Hermaphrodites Underrepresented On Jackson Jury"

"No Need For Blacks On Jury: Jackson, when he was still African-American. Now, as an anorexic caucasian spook-house side show Jackson attributes his whiteness, straight hair and supple lip lines to a rare skin disorder--and a steady diet of toddler."

And he also has this:

"Report: Landslides Could Turn California Into Red State"

"Los Angeles--Experts from NOAA, The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, are claiming that nearly unprecedented rainfall in southern California could tip the balance in the favor of the Republican party in 2008."

"A sudden, cataclysmic break off of all the real estate below Santa Barbara county will knock out the only three counties in southern California carried by John Kerry in the 2004 elections," said a senior NOAA official. "The Democrats don't have a prayer until Monterey County, on up into San Francisco. Hopefully the erosive nature of this disaster has latent, electoral sympathies."

"Others have intimated that Republican strategist, Karl Rove, could have tapped into the previously-occultic weather control techniques--the stuff of legend."