Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The DMV experience

Yes, that's right. Just a week after my lovely experience getting passports for my younger two, I needed to go to the DMV for my 16 yr old to get his license. I'm familiar with the place having gone through this twice already.

Like the post office, the DMV has the most inconvenient hours, so that it forces one to either miss work or school to go there. They know you have no where else to go. They know they don't have competition, and so customer service is simply not necessary.

I've learned to go with the attitude that I probably won't have the necessary documents and will have to return (because what is online is never right) or the computers will shut down (that happened yesterday when we tried to go the first time AND when he got his learner's permit 6 months ago). If you go with the notion that you will have to wait at least an hour and a half for bad service, then you won't be disappointed.

I don't like crowds and I avoid them when possible. Going to the DMV reminds me why.

Here are some tips for the general public.

1) Dirty t-shirts and houseshoes is just never a good look.

2) Having "peaches" tattooed across your chest doesn't really do anything for you. In fact, unless you are a male biker or a member of the military, tattoos are just stupid. They aren't even rebellious anymore. Your teacher or Mom probably has one.

3) Having a seizure at the DMV isn't a good idea (yes, this just happened while we were there). It's not a good idea because no one wants to get out of line to help you. I had to push my way past people to yell at the front desk to call 9-11. Thankfully the person beside the man seem to know what he was doing. The man ended up being fine and not needing to go to the hospital, thank goodness. You better believe I got my place back in line too. I don't need a tattoo to look like I mean business..;-)

4) I don't expect people to dress nicely to go to the DMV, but basic personal hygiene is something you might want to consider.

I wonder where our tax money goes. Certainly not to hire more workers at the DMV to move the lines along. Certainly not to update the computers, that were so old they were each the the size of a small bathroom. Certainly not for chairs, or TV's to relieve the boredom of waiting in line with nothing to look at but the various tattoos people shouldn't have. And most certainly not for a janitorial service.

I just have to wonder. Why do we put up with this? It's not like we would disagree about it. It's the one thing that could unite us all. Is it because we are so grateful to be done with it we just want to forget it? Like a some sort of post traumatic dmv syndrome?

Of course, this experience had the perfect ending. My son and I stop by a gas station so I can show him how to put gas in the car, and he takes the nozzle out while still holding the trigger of it and douses me with gasoline.

This is my glamorous life.