A Rightwingsparkle Exclusive!!!!

The Dallas Morning News on the Cheney hunting accident: "Kenedy County sheriff's deputies have redoubled their efforts to investigate the case after criticism of their decision not to interview witnesses until a day after the shooting.""Ms. Armstrong said she faxed a detailed account to deputies on Wednesday at the sheriff's request. She said she would have done so sooner if she'd been asked and added that everyone at the ranch has been encouraged to tell the truth about the shooting."

It's apparent that everyone present at the Quail hunt is a Cheney insider so don't expect anything new there, but RWS has obtained an exclusive interview with the one eye witness that ISN'T an insider and the truth of what happened that horrible day of the shooting is shocking! On a tip, I ventured out close to the Ranch to meet with our eyewitness in an undisclosed bush. Meet Mr. Quail.

RWS: Mr. Quail, thank you for meeting with me today.

Mr. Quail: No Problem.

RWS: Walk us through what happened Saturday evening.

Mr. Quail:Well, I was just minding my own business in the bushes at the Ranch when I heard singing.

RWS: Singing?

Mr. Quail: Yep, it was that lawyer fella that got shot. He was singing "I got the Power" by P. Diddy

RWS: And then what happened?

Mr. Quail:Well, I started to fly up, which is kind of hard without wings and all.

RWS: No wings?

Mr. Quail: Yeah. Those rich bastards can't shoot us when we fly, so they saw off our wings so we have to kind of shimmy in the air.

RWS: Ok, then what?

Mr. Quail: Well, I hear this "BOOM" and I feel a bullet just whiz by me and I look down and that lawyer fella is laying on the ground bleeding.

RWS: Was he saying anything?

Mr. Quail: Yes, he was whispering " I would never have told Dickie boy, I promise."

RWS: Told what?

Mr. Quail: I don't know. You humans make no sense to me.

RWS: So then what?

Mr. Quail: Well that Cheney fella hollers at someone to get Karl Rove on the phone and runs over to the bleeding lawyer. It was kind of hard for him to run since he was wearing a toga.

RWS: A toga???!!

Mr. Quail: Yep, they had that "Shout!" song blasting all afternoon and they were drunker than cooter brown.

RWS: Drunk???????

Mr. Quail: Oh yes, Lone Star beer cans were everywhere. Well, someone musta got hold of that Rove fella cuz next thing I know guys in black ninja like outfits were everywhere threatening all those there. They had pictures of their children with with bullseye across their chest. These guys clearly don't mess around. I heard Cheney whisper, "A horse's head in your bed is nothing."

RWS: Oh dear.

Mr. Quail: No kidding. Oh, and by the way, that lawyer fella died right there.

RWS: Died???!! How do you explain that he is in the hospital right now??

Mr. Quail: Well, those ninja guys scooped up the body and it was gone and the next thing I knew one of them was putting on face makeup to look just like him. It was all very "Mission Impossible" like.

RWS: This is astounding.

Mr. Quail: Tell me about it. It was really awful when they killed that reporter that was there. Because it took them a long time. I think they enjoyed it actually.

RWS: OMG! Who was it?

Mr. Quail: I'm not sure, but I think that is why the White House Press Corp was so angry, it was one of their own. No one wants to be the one to report him missing for the obvious reasons.

RWS: Good grief! I guess the left has been right about Cheney all along.

Mr. Quail: Well, yes, but let me tell you I've seen some things out here in the woods involving The Clintons, Al Gore, Michael Moore, George Clooney, Janet Reno and women of various ages that would make Larry Flynt blush. So all of you humans are pretty much scum to me.

RWS: Well, thank you for your honesty Mr. Quail.