Sex

This whole thing with Foley and everyone dredging up Clinton and all the other sexual escapades of politicians got me to thinking about relationships. I was waiting for an appointment today and picked up a "Jane" magazine, which I believe is aimed at young women. There was an article on how to score free drinks from the bartender you slept with last weekend. There was a regular column that asks young women across the country where is the "craziest" place you have ever "done it." There were about 6 other articles relating to sex that had nothing to do with love.

I never allowed my daughter to read the Cosmos and Glamour magazines and this is why. What messages are being sent here? That there are no consequences for your actions.

It got me to wondering why we don't seem to focus more on our love relationships in popular culture rather than just our sexual ones.

I remember when I met one of my boyfriends in college. I was in the library and saw him across the room. Instant attraction. I was 20. I turned to a girl sitting next to me who was in my sorority and I said, 'I want to meet that guy." And she looked over at him and started to laugh. I said, "What??" She said, "That should be pretty easy to arrange. That's my brother."

So she introduced us outside. He told me later that he just thought his sister was being nice and it didn't occur to him at introductions that I liked him. He was standing by his car and I blurted out, "I like your car." Because I couldn't think of anything else to say and I didn't want him to leave. He looked at his car puzzled for a moment because it was truly a bland and nothing car and then looked at me with a huge grin on his face. He realized I liked him.

That was the start of some romance.

I can't relate to giving into any old sexual urge that hits you. Oh, I had the urges, trust me. I just chose not to act upon them. Not only because of my faith, but because the only sex talk my Dad ever gave me was basically 3 words and they stuck with me all through my dating life- "Don't be stupid." When I was 14 my Dad was concerned about the growing number of boys showing up on our doorstep. We were out on the front porch and he didn't look at me when he said it. He never said the word "sex," but we both knew what he was talking about. He said, "Don't be stupid sweetie. You have nothing to gain and everything to lose."

I heard those words in my mind more times that I care to remember. My Dad told me not to be stupid and I wasn't. And I have no regrets for not being sexually active until I was married. I don't have to remember drunken one night stands. I don't have to remember feeling used. I don't have to remember sweating over a cold sink waiting for a strip to turn blue or pink. I never had to watch a boyfriend walk away when I had his child in my womb.

No, I have no regrets.

Oh, I know the stories. I watched my girlfriends go through it. Don't get me wrong. I wasn't perfect. I was not a goody two shoes. But long before I was Catholic I avoided the mortal sins. Back then I called them the "Don't be stupid sins."

Which brings me back to Foley and Clinton. Foley can blame alcohol and Clinton can blame Monica, but what it really came down to is making a decision to do something stupid. How can men who are so smart be that stupid?

I don't believe the sexual urge overrides our common sense. People make the choice not to give in to sexual sin every day. Maybe it was the combination of power and arrogance that flip the switch to override with these men and other men like them. But people who have no power or arrogance do these things as well. So it really is all about the choice you make every single day.

Maybe instead of these sex saturated magazines and movies and TV, we should have public service announcements that say,

Don't Be Stupid

Hey, it worked for me.